I wrote to her from Toronto later that summer describing how I was a corporate sellout - hoping to get some sort of horrified reaction. No reaction from her except friendly derision and a few book recommendations. I remember telling her I didn't want to read "cultural tapestry stuff" (my conversations with her were always in jest.) She told me to read "Shadow Lines" and "Persepolis."
She said,
"okay, so you must give this feminism thing another serious consideration, as a self-respecting person on the left (who sells his soul to the corporates- very respectable Hari!) but I think your analysis of the world is seriously lacking without consideration of the gender question... and then we can have actual dialogues rather than long ramblings of a mallu."
She then passed on the e-mail address of this cute girl she noticed I was interested in. Nassim was playing a good matchmaker.
I lost contact with her after that year. I visited my friend Chris Ross in Cambridge (England) in the summer of 2008 and as we were smoking shisha on the banks of the river Cam, he brought up Nassim. She died the year before, probably in 2007, I think, of cancer. She wasn't diagnosed with cancer (as far as I knew) when I knew her. But she had something else she was getting surgery for. On August 18th, 2005, she wrote, "I'm shamelessly attaching my resume here as well. I'm due for surgery next Tuesday and if I don't come out of it alive, I want you to know it was very nice getting to know you and wish you all the best in law school and your novel (which I still haven't read) and all else that follows."
In her resume, among the qualifications it said, quite truthfully, in the skills section, "Able to communicate challenging and sensitive ideas accurately and effectively with different people"; under the Hobbies section one entry said, "Creative writing, painting with oil paints, portrait sketching, sewing, traveling, reading post-colonial literature, translating the Farsi writings of author Sadeq Hedayat into English, and most recently taking up photography"
I only put these here because I knew so very little about her. I expected to meet her again. I remember the wit, sarcasm and genuine warmth she displayed.
I just did a google search and found a blog entry on the day she passed away. The entry says she was 24. I don't know who Pasheman is, perhaps her husband. But it's here:
http://pasheman.blogspot.com/2007/03/monring-breeze-jolted-me.html
So if the good, well meaning, people go, what will happen to the rest of us?
This was an entry by her
http://www.muslimwakeup.com/main/archives/2004/06/felt-up-in-tehr.php
In her resume, among the qualifications it said, quite truthfully, in the skills section, "Able to communicate challenging and sensitive ideas accurately and effectively with different people"; under the Hobbies section one entry said, "Creative writing, painting with oil paints, portrait sketching, sewing, traveling, reading post-colonial literature, translating the Farsi writings of author Sadeq Hedayat into English, and most recently taking up photography"
I only put these here because I knew so very little about her. I expected to meet her again. I remember the wit, sarcasm and genuine warmth she displayed.
I just did a google search and found a blog entry on the day she passed away. The entry says she was 24. I don't know who Pasheman is, perhaps her husband. But it's here:
http://pasheman.blogspot.com/2007/03/monring-breeze-jolted-me.html
So if the good, well meaning, people go, what will happen to the rest of us?
This was an entry by her
http://www.muslimwakeup.com/main/archives/2004/06/felt-up-in-tehr.php
5 comments:
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your friend Hari. Chin up, that's what she would want.
www.peste-pulse.blogspot.com is site of sister of nassim
I am an old friend of nasim from high school , when I heard the news from my dad, I was so shocked . I remember the last time we ran into each other was in (metro town sky train) and I remember telling her , she wasn't a good friend and how I was so upset that she never calls me Years past by and I even forgotten you were once my friend , my brother from UBC knew that you were gone years ago but he never wanted to deliver the bad news to me since I was down for few yrs myself ,I heard this tragedy from my dad and it slip out of his mouth , I cried a river , specially when I found out that the last time I saw you was in metro town and at that time you were diagnosed with cancer but you didn't speak a word of it ��, I wished I could stop the time and go back where I said goodbye to you and hugged you for few more minutes and tell you how much I love you And how much you helped me when I was new to Guildford
park secondary school and I had no one to like me but you were there for me ! Apparently I was a fob. I miss you and I always think of you as some one who always inspired me with her unique and outstanding behavior .
You were someone special to me. Thx for being there for me through high school and showed me how to stand up on my feet . I love you Nassim and I won't ever forget your kindness �� RIP
Elham Mousavifar
Hello dear Hari,
I call you dear because Nassim was dear to me, and thus by association you are too. She and I were good friends during our UBC days. Over the years at UBC, I knew her husband more than I knew her. In any regard, I have only fond memories of this gentle, intelligent old soul that was our mutual friend. I think of her often and it makes me sad and happy all at the same time. I also often think of her young widowed husband very often. Both Nassim and him were what I would call a "power couple", as when I knew them they were two of the most critical and intelligent people I had every encountered.
It was such a pleasure to come across this entry of yours, years after you wrote it, so that I might share a moment with another soul that knew Nassim and misses her. I am still in disbelief that she passed away. She was made for greatness and I looked forward to seeing what she would do with her life, had she been given more time on this earth. I haven't had the luck of encountering many radical, muslim, iranian women and I am so happy I knew this one. I hope to god that there is an afterlife that is treating her well. Too many, as you say, good well-meaning people (in my life) have passed and I too wonder what happens to us that are left behind.
I want so much to sign my name but choose to remain anonymous. Please accept my condolences and know that there is yet another person missing Nassim and trying to keep her memory alive. (If her husband comes across this, please accept my condolences as well as I never did succeed in reaching you over the years to express my deepest regrets).
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